gay bar...

I was shocked at the extent to which people warmed up when I came out to them at the gay bar. Classic case of boundary forming, I suppose -- I could tell they weren't happy I was there and felt awkward and constrained, and then an hour later, everything was much more cordial and I was being included.

Two things learned: I look really damn straight. And, border work sucks when I'm perceived as the wrong side of the border. (But not enough for me not to want to engage in it myself in the future....)