Shape-ups for girls are here!!!!1!!eleventy!1!!

This is not the commercial I saw on TV just now, but it's close enough:



What the hell?

I swear the one I saw on TV was worse (but maybe that's just because I spent the entire 30 seconds in the thralls of "bzuuuuuuuuuuh?"). The TV version didn't even do any of the "it'll let you bounce!" handwaving to justify marketing butt-toning shoes to elementary schoolers.

There are some insightful comments to be made here about girls, gender roles, body image, health, childhood activity, and how these all tie into television (television!) commercials, but I am not sure I'm in the mood to tease them all out. There is just so much wrong with this, right down to the Velcro shoe they show at second 12 and the gross = food = boys at second 18. And, sticking with the name "Shape-Ups"? Really? It just echoes of Pull-Ups.... which these kids are no more than 5 years past wearing.


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Overview of video:
Skinny professional cartoon lady at news desk of pink and grey: Breaking news from Sketchers!
Other skinny lady jumps on news desk: Shape-ups for girls are here! Let's go!

(cut to stage with skinny cartoon rock band ladies and lots of pink, with massive Shape-Ups logo in background)
Singer sings: Heidi's got new Shape-Ups!
(a series of shoes display, spinning slowly in circles like crowns)
Got everything a *girl* wants!
She's got the height, got the bounce, yeah, she's looking good and having fun!
(boys dressed in junk food appear for half a second, looking disgusted)
Cuz Heidi's got new Shape-Ups!
(boys dressed in junk food can't keep up with skinny happy beaming girl)
Heidi's got new Shape-Ups!

Voiceover: Shape-ups for girls by Sketchers!

The master: *falls over ded*