marital status? for reals?

I hate when people on LinkedIn put up their marital status. "Single" people look like they are hoping their resume will get them a date. "Married" people look like they are needing to announce that they are successfully straight and paired off -- with presents.

When I look you up professionally, the number of people you're having sex with just really isn't germane.

Victoria's Secret has nothing on the fire department....

So, visiting someone's house last week, I saw the figurines at left displayed in the living room. I blinked a bit. And then realized that the best and most impressive one was actually NOT either of the BDSM ones, however overtly hot they are. The best one is the Fire Department girl. Who is sitting on a fire hydrant. That is bright red. Gigantic. Slightly bent. And that has a perfectly-sculpted head that is distinct from the rest of the "fire hydrant" shaft. She is sitting with her legs open, balanced with the opening to her vagina on top of the head. And she's holding a long snake that spews powerful liquid.

All I can say is: Wow. I'm not sure you can get more explicit in a visual metaphor.